At the beginning of this year America tuned in to the Golden Globes and watched actress Michelle Williams grasp a golden statue for best actress in a limited series and gush, “I'm also grateful to have lived in a moment in our society where choice exists, because as women and as girls, things can happen to our bodies that are not our choice.” Cameras panned across the crowd revealing successful female actresses of all ages passionately affirming her message. 

In Michelle Williams’ world and mind, a successful career requires the option—and apparently the exercising of that option—to abort her unborn child.

And it’s not just Williams. This is has been the feminist agenda since the 1960s. It’s the agenda we as a nation have been lauding all week, as we’ve remembered and praised the contributions of Ruth Bader Ginsburg to the Supreme Court for the last 27 years.  

When the Notorious RBG passed away many women I know appropriately memorialized her, sharing compelling quotes and bulleted lists of all the things we can do because of what she already did. I am amongst the many who are grateful. Because of Justice Ginsburg and pioneering women like her I, along with my four daughters and baby granddaughter, have equal access to education, myriad careers, civic responsibilities, and financial opportunities. It’s good and right that those spaces are no longer reserved for men only. 

Second Wave Feminism Made a Grave Miscalculation

But the feminist movement made a grave miscalculation when it equated such rights with the right to terminate an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy. Somehow the fight for equal careers, equal pay, and equal say in the public square was aligned with equal expectations after engaging in sex. 

It’s as if Justice Ginsburg and her second wave feminist peers declared that they wanted to be like men in the boardroom and also in the bedroom.

But why? This has been my question for two decades. The boardroom I get (and I’m grateful). But the bedroom? Why, in the quest for women’s liberation, was the male body normed? Why was the female body deemed deficient, in need of a pill and surgeries to make it right?

Making women’s bodies behave like men’s bodies is not liberation. It is exploitation. 

Imagine if They Had Gotten It Right

What if instead second wave feminists had pursued a world where the female body was normed, pregnancy was normed, and motherhood was valued and protected? What if rather than pursuing the pill and abortion, they built a culture that truly valued women, their bodies, and their contributions to society—both in the form of children and in the workplace? 

Imagine with me how different life would be if instead of marching for abortion they had marched for fathers to fully invest in the lives of their babies, for workplace accommodations, for flexibility in the public sphere to meet the needs of their families. Imagine with me a society that prizes pregnancy and babies and children and families above work. 

Real feminism—genuine love, respect, and appreciation for females—says our bodies are just fine the way they are. They’re “very good” actually. Real feminism says motherhood is beautiful and worthwhile and should be a priority for our population. Real feminism says both moms and dads are needed and neither gender should have to forego a family. Real feminism says no parent is beneath just being there, feeding the baby, packing the lunches, driving the carpool, and staying home when someone is sick. 

Equality is when both male and female callings, vocations, professions, and roles in society are deemed indispensable. Real equality is when both genders are valued and called upon in every sphere. Abortion rights have not advanced women, they’ve injured us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Abortion access has enabled men to abdicate responsibility and forced women to delay or altogether deny motherhood. In this way, second wave feminism has been remarkably anti-woman. 

It’s Time for Feminism to Mean Flourishing

With the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court, though, I’m hopeful for a new day for us females. Coney Barrett has had an exceptional legal career, including being a law professor at Notre Dame and a federal judge, and it looks like she could be sitting in Justice Ginsburg’s seat very soon. All this while mothering seven children, five biological, including one with special needs, and two who are adopted from Haiti. 

When asked about her notable professional success and full family life, Coney Barrett always points to her husband, a successful lawyer himself. During her speech at the White House yesterday she said he asks her every single morning what he can do for her. Real feminism looks like husbands and men and entire societies asking women, “What can we do for you?” Not in a subservient way, but in an equitable way—a way that says, you have gifts that we need, how can we help you flourish? 

Coney Barrett isn’t superhuman. She’s part of a community that wants her to flourish. Her husband wants to help. They have extended family who help with childcare. And she has been in various workplaces that have been flexible and accommodated her and her family. Her employers have said with their actions, your skills are valued here, but so is your family, how can we help? 

Real feminism seeks the flourishing of females.

I propose with Coney Barrett’s nomination we initiate a new form of feminism. This new feminism ensures that all women—all classes, all ethnicities, all callings, all capacities—are equipped and empowered to flourish in every way, in every sphere. 

It ensures girls value their bodies rather than deny them or harm them or allow them to be used. It ensures all girls get the education and opportunities they desire. It looks at all women—marginalized women especially—and says how can we help? This new feminism gives every little girl the chance to grow up and be a Coney Barrett if she wants.

Of course stay-at-home moms are exceedingly valuable too. And single professional women are to be prized. Neither group, nor any other, is an afterthought. There’s no perfect mold for every woman and that’s the point. Second wave feminism has been pressing us into a single mold and it’s time to throw it off.  

Michelle Williams held a golden statue, but not the baby for which she “employed choice.” America applauded, but should have grieved. Amy Coney Barrett will hold a gavel, as well as the hands of seven precious children. I will be standing and applauding for sure. 

May we as a nation seek the flourishing of every woman in every space.

Women and girls across America, how can we help?