You know what’s terrifying?

A hard heart.

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts” (Ps. 95:7), the psalmist warns. He recounts how, with hard hearts, the people of Israel disbelieved and disobeyed God both at Meribah and at Massah.

The first time, they gathered around to complain and accuse God and Moses of mistreating them and even leading them to their death, because they were thirsty (Ex. 17:1–7). The second time the Israelites riled each other up, it was again in suspicion of God and Moses, after hearing how scary the Promised Land looked to be (Num. 14:1–12).

Even though God had proven himself time and again to his treasured people, they put him to the test. Therefore, “For forty years [God] loathed that generation and said, ‘They are a people who go astray in their heart, and they have not known my ways . . . They shall not enter my rest’” (Ps. 95:10–11).

According to this psalm, God loathes hardened hearts. He will not give them rest.

But it’s not just the ancient people of Israel who struggle with hardened hearts.

MY HARD HEART

Though I too have experienced God’s provision and promises, I also grumble, accuse God, and take matters into my own hands. Rather than walking with him, believing him, and abiding in him, I rebel like the Israelites before me.

I harden my heart many times a day when I say to myself, I should apologize, but I don’t want to. I should get off my phone, but this is interesting. I should pray, but this sugar will give quicker relief. I should go help, but I’m busy.

Those may not seem like “biggies,” but that’s where the biggies start. Not apologizing or self-medicating with sugar may not have a huge consequence right now.

But they will if they go unchecked. This is where a hardened heart begins.

THE STAKES ARE HIGH

No one wakes up with a sudden urge to divorce, or embezzle, or murder. Those urges start out with seemingly small, selfish acts. The selfishness grows like a snowball in the corners of our hearts where no one sees. But if it’s not stopped, it will roll and roll into an avalanche and cause real destruction.

You know how this goes: We hurt those around us just enough to create some distance. Rather than softening our hearts right then, we look around for validation. Others with hardened hearts say, “You’re doing the right thing. Keep feeding the snowball. Let it grow. Doesn’t it feel right?” Like the Israelites did at Meribah and Massah, we egg each other on.

The stakes are high when it comes to our hearts. The Proverbs say, “Whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity” (Prov. 28:14). Paul says we can be “alienated from the life of God . . . due to [our] hardness of heart” (Eph. 4:18).

You give in to a white lie, then a bit more of a lie to cover up for that one. At first you figure it’s not a big deal or God won’t notice. But after a few more of these same incremental decisions, you find your prayer life stale and your thoughts fixated on Netflix shows or what you’re buying next on Amazon. Before you know it, you’re far more interested in the things of this world than the things of God.

But it doesn’t have to be—or stay—this way.

WHAT WILL WE CHOOSE?

In our hard-heartedness we have a choice: stay the course, or confess our transgressions and obtain mercy (Prov. 28:13).

This truth applies to Christians and non-Christians alike. We all have a conscience and understanding of right and wrong (Rom. 1:18–20). But when we are rescued and redeemed by Jesus, God says,

“I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God” (Ezek. 11:19b–20). 

What will we, the redeemed, do with these hearts of flesh? Will we nurture and protect them, feed them grace and truth? Or will we take them for granted and assume we will keep walking in God’s statutes without any effort? 

Whatever we do, we have to keep a close eye on our hearts, which Jeremiah tells us are deceitful (Jer. 17:9). Whether it’s mindless scrolling or entering an extramarital affair, our hearts can deceive even us. We must be vigilant because our lives flow from our hearts (Prov. 4:23).

If we want to steer clear of a hard heart, we have to work on keeping a soft heart.

THE KEY TO MAINTAINING A SOFT HEART

Keeping a soft heart requires keeping in step with the Spirit (Gal. 5:16). It means not gratifying our own flesh, but instead gratifying the Spirit of God. It means choosing his way—not our own—even when it’s hard, doesn’t feel right, and hurts. Jesus really does ask us to come and die (Luke 9:23–24), and because he did, he empowers us to do it.

After two decades of ministry, I think the key to maintaining a soft heart is active participation in a Spirit-led community. In our flesh and our own power, we are just like the Israelites, riling each other up to disbelief and disobedience. But with the grace and power of the Holy Spirit we can “stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb. 10:24). Both faithlessness and faithfulness are contagious.

Christian, whose company will you keep? Whose voice will you heed? Are your siblings in the Lord provoking you towards him or away from him?

This is deadly serious: Those who profess Christ but refuse the accountability and edification of his community will fall away. Hard hearts alienate us from the life of God. Hard hearts are eternally condemning.

This isn’t just about clean living and wise choices. This is a matter of heaven and hell, life and death. 

Paul says, “Keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints” (Eph. 6:18). We must keep alert, persevere, and pray for each other, together. Perseverance is a community project. We need each other.

AVOID AN AVALANCHE

A hard heart is terrifying. But it is not inevitable.

Right before the psalmist warns us not to harden our hearts (Ps. 95:8), he summons us to “kneel before the Lord, our Maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand” (Ps. 95:6–7).

Jesus echoes this truth when he calls himself the Good Shepherd. He says, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:27–28).

This is the best news: We belong to him! Because of the great love with which he has loved us (Eph. 2:4), we are firmly in his hands and cannot be snatched away. He’s given us new hearts and a new spirit (Ezek. 11:19), so that we have all we need for life and godliness to bring him glory (2 Pet. 1:3).

With the psalmist, with all of Israel, and with the whole church, let us sing to the Lord, our Good Shepherd.

Have you heard his voice? Do not harden your heart, but instead, follow him.

Author’s Note: This article first appeared at GCD in July 2020.